Preview: Castle Quest Preparation

[DustyPorViva]

What I'm saying is not that that type of entertainment doesn't work for Classic, but that it's not being done very well. It's 'so bad it's bad', instead of 'so bad it's good.'

[ffcmike]

Originally Posted by DustyPorViva

What I'm saying is not that that type of entertainment doesn't work for Classic, but that it's not being done very well. It's 'so bad it's bad', instead of 'so bad it's good.'

Can you give any examples?

With the example Kenshin provided, it will become more clear upon release that dialogue involving Baddies is deliberately made to sound bad, as if they're meant to be a joke.

[Fulg0reSama]

Originally Posted by ffcmike

Can you give any examples?

From what I could see from the video, the context at hand had literally no connection whatsoever for the viewer to understand or even in my opinion feel excited for (emphasis on the excitement part)

I'll try to help by deconstructing what was in the video and attempting to help improve in what way I know, this possibly will be 50/50 as far as probability of helping, but read it if you want to make it seem a bit more appealing.

Guard #1 is Goldie (yellow guy)
Guard #2 is Rhed (red guy)

Goldie: so this is your last day before retirement.
Goldie: i remember your first day when we attacked that village
Goldie: you cut that mother's head off, hahaha
Goldie: Anyway take it easy
Rhed: Thanks boss

*Squash Rhed on landing*
End Scene.

Just from what I saw here, I saw a couple of ways to at least spit-shine it, not sure if I can massively improve it though with any help.

1, Fix the dialogue's grammar, While most players may not care too terribly about the grammar at hand most of the time, this is definitely not one of the times to allow this, Here's the revised form of the dialogue I saw, fixing this up can help against the nitpickers.

Goldie: So, this is your last day before retirement.
Goldie: I remember your first day, when we attacked that village!
Goldie: You cut that mother's head off, Ha ha ha!
Goldie: Anyways, take it easy.
Rhed: Thanks boss.

Now after fixing the grammar itself repaired, now you can try giving the writing some form of voice, at least this is what I would do, feel free to take this or leave it as far as you will probably have a different direction as far as how you want to convey your dialogue.

Goldie: So, this is your last day before retirement, eh? (added a mannerism for a small personalization effect, this is kind of just filler, but it's up to you if ya want to consider it)
Goldie: I remember your first day, you know! *blank pause* When we attacked that village? (Gave some pacing towards the conversation to allow the observer to take a moment to take in the moment.)
Goldie: You cut that mother's head off, Hah! I was so proud of you that day. (Stating a moment on that day in order to give some depth towards the moment while making a small connection for the observer to empathize for)
Goldie: Anyways, you take it easy and enjoy your retirement.
Rhed: Thank you, sir. (changed Boss to Sir considering that Sir is more recognizable as a term of endearment, imo.)

*Fat ol' Thor squashes poor Rhed with his behind*

End Scene

Now of course I tried to make a friendly bond between the two, but I don't know how you're setting these characters up as far as how you want them to be perceived, so just go with that effect I suppose?

Hope this helps somehow.

Edit: From what I read over again, you want cheesy, this will not help you very well, but its another direction to take upon. Sorry if this seems unhelpful, just trying to be constructive.

[ffcmike]

I was asking for examples in terms of comedy rather than literacy, but again this falls under the fact we're not trying to make them sound elegant, intelligible or dramatic, such as with the Baddy note within one of the previous tasks:

[Fulg0reSama]

Originally Posted by ffcmike

I was asking for examples in terms of comedy rather than literacy, but again this falls under the fact we're not trying to make them sound elegant, intelligible or dramatic, such as with the Baddy note within one of the previous tasks:

I'd go with how Chrono Cross went at it then.

They decided in order to give their many playable characters some "spice" that they'd play with their accents, as well as bending their accents as a good sized reflection of the character that they molded before you, considering that you spent a lot of time reading in that game, it helped them a lot as far as adding charm through the dialogue writing of the game, which would be a great asset to Classic as well.

Example: One of my favorite characters, Orcha and a few other characters used a made-up accent called Guldovian, which was simply Casual English but with a twist of an occasional, well... What I would call "catchphrase" bit, kind of like the smurfs and how they'd go something like "Oh yeah, dude, I totally murfed the smurf out of Smurfette's mind, dude!(Did not happen in the smurfs, but it might as well have.) or in the CC example, it'd go something like "Don'tCHA think you'll be goin' without me!".

Basically, make use of these elements I presented and bend them to a more comedic perspective.

If there's something more specific about what you're inquiring for the dialogue, I'd like to know so I can help more efficiently