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The beginning of...
The Adventures of Dante!
Dante was feeling comfortable as he sat on a cliff overlooking the sea, praying quietly. When he felt the big stone hit him squarely on the back of the head, he had little time to notice that he had been hit by Ice Pick the evil assassin before falling unconscious, rolling over the edge of the cliff and plumetting to his death.
The dainty "splat" was heard by an approaching band of intrepid adventurers. One of them stepped forward.
"Hey," TheGame, the powerful swordsman said, "That bastard killed Dante!"
"Let's get him!" Grim Squeaker answered immediately.
TheGame wasted no time before dashing at Ice Pick, his sword drawn and held in to his side. He ran at a mad speed before falling face down on the ground. Looking up he saw the extended foot of the smiling Lycia, slightly rotund but extremely intelligent.
"I'll take care of him." Lycia closed her eyes and extended her arms, forming an archaic symbol with her fingers. She screamed "RC power!!!" and that instant, thousands of tiny green gems went flying toward Ice Pick.
Ice Pick grabbed the gralats, chuckled, and threw a knife through Lycia's head.
Psyker let out an exasperated groan. "Money's not going to hurt him! She should have given it to me!" His eyes went wide as a realization dawned on him. "When Ice Pick dies I get his money! Oh, wait... Dante had money too!" He instantly scrambled to the cliff's edge, stumbled, and rolled down screaming.
Rastaad the sentinel knight stepped forward. "We better stop goofing around! I'll avenge Dante's death! I've got a ton of great ideas! I know they may not be much now but I'm working on tons of great ways to improve my revenge! Let's start!" Instantly, he disappeared. A moment of silence ensued.
"Nobody do anything!" TheGame shouted as he pulled himself up from the ground. "Lemme at him!" Once again he dashed at Ice Pick with incredible speed. This time when he reached Ice Pick, he slashed right through him. "Hahaha!"
Lugie groaned and shouted "Look behind you!" TheGame turned around to see Ice Pick standing right behin him with the ominous words "warpto 25 30" floating over his head.
TheGame gasped in alarm. "He's abusing the warpto-" TheGame couldn't finish his sentence before IcePick swung a sword over his head. He dashed back to the group.
Grim Squeaker donned his bogen and let loose a fury of arrows at Ice Pick. "Take that, you!" But as the arrows sped toward him, Ice Pick warped out of harm's way.
Lamer, with the mysterious white sign covering his eyes, said "That's enough, I'll get him!" He jumped 5 feet into the air, spun, shouting "ace throw!" and lobbed a beautiful shining golden axe through the air at Ice Pick.
Ice Pick turned too late to dodge the the axe and shouted with horror as he saw it spinning toward his head. Suddenly, a hand popped up and snatched the axe out of the air.
It was Psyker, still bloody from his fall down the cliff. "What do you think you're doing? That's a waste of an expensive gold axe!" Lamer groaned and fell back to the ground. Lugie continued "If you didn't want it, you should have given it to me! Throw this instead!" He tossed a metal axe at Lamer.
"What was that?" Lamer said, seconds before being knocked in the head and passing out.
"uh.... oops."
Lugie appeared holding a bush up over his head. "That's enough! Now's my chance!" He threw the bush at Ice Pick, who warped away. Then he threw another, and another, and Ice Pick warped every time!
Finally Ice Pick stopped, perched safely above a tree. "Ha!" He gloated. "With my warping power, I'm invincible!" Suddenly, a lightning bolt zipped across the sky far away in the horizon. Ice Pick glanced up, too late to avoid the Samurai Farmer falling on him with his long sword pointing straight below him.
Trueheat chuckled, pulled the sword out of Ice Pick and lept to the ground.
"Graal's greatest victory! I am indeed a samurai farmer!"
The Adventures of Dante!
Dante and the proud band of explorers stood over a cliff in Bogenera, looking down at the view. "It certainly is a lovely sunset under the bomy sun!" Dante said, seconds before he heard an odd noise behind him.
"What was that?" He asked, as an arrow sped through his head!
"Argh!" He said, falling to the floor. "It's Welly!"
TrueHeat had his beautiful Samurai Farmer sword out in a flash. Fai closed one eye and surveyed the scene. "There he is! Welly picked off Dante with a bogen!"
"Two can play at that game," Grim Squeaker added as he drew his own bogen and shot at the bush behind which Welly hid.
Welly lept out of the bush with an arrow sticking out of his chubby stomach. He pulled it out with a grimace and ran to the left, shooting arrows as he went.
deetto and dozer both pulled their swords at the same time. "Im gonna get him!" dozer said, starting to run. "No way dozer you ass im gonna get him" deetto answered, and they started fighting each other, forgetting about Welly.
TheGame laughed and approached Welly, bearing his own sword. "This'll be a piece of cake." He said, speeding up to a run and slahing his sword repeatedly.
"Look out bro!" TrueHeat shouted, and TheGame stopped just short of running into the explosion of a nukeshot! "Where'd that come from??" TheGame spurted out, surprised. "Look up there," Lugie answered, pointing to Twiztid, who stood, holding a missile launcher, looking over them from behind.
"Cheap shot!" TheGame muttered, and turned instantly around, ignoring Welly to attack Twiztid.
TrueHeat sighed. "A true samurai never forgets where danger lies." He drew his sword gracefully and ran towards Welly, but was forced to stop abruptly when a small knife, from out of nowhere, struck the ground in front of him. "Yikes! Where'd that come from?"
"Hahahaha you know where..." TrueHeat looked with horror upon Asuka, the evil villain! "I should have known it was you, Asuka! To think you would find me here..."
"What do you mean, I can look you up on the map anytime," Asuka said. "Oh yeah, that's right," TrueHeat answered. "Well, to think you would... attack me here! Prepare to die!" Asuka and TrueHeat launched into fierce battle!
By this time Lugie had realized that Welly was going to be forgotten, so he attacked him. Poor Welly was helpless and slain by Lugie the master killer in moments!
TheGame was still trying his best to defeat Twiztid, but he couldn't scale the cliff before Twiztid would shoot a nukeshot at him. "I can't get at him as long as he has that nukeshot!" He cried to the others. "I'll try and distract him." Fai said. He ran to the cliff with a hammer in one hand and a fishing pole in the other, swinging both wildly! "You're at my mercy now!" he shouted. Twiztid laughed as a nukeshot blew up squarely on Fai, killing the poor fish instantly.
TheGame grimaced. "Some diversion... trying to fight from below the cliff is no good! We can't get him as long as he has that missile launcher! This is hopeless!"
"No it's not! Panda power!"
TrueHeat and Asuka were still engaged in an amazing duel, attacking back and forth at vision blurring speeds. But even they both ****ed an eye to see the approach of a fuzzy panda- none other than Ultimate- and, right behind him was Seraetras, the famous skirmisher!
"Never Fear, Ultimate is here!" Ultimate proclaimed as he ****ed a nukeshot over his shoulder. "Two can play at this game!"
Ultimate and Seraetras both began firing in perfect unison, Ultimate's shots flanking Twiztid to block him in as Seraetras' shots hit him dead-eye! Twiztid was blown to bits in seconds!
Now all the action remaining in the battlefield was on the fast and graceful samurai farmer fighting the twisted and powerful Asuka! Everyone gasped as a slash by Asuka struck TrueHeat in the arm.
"It'll take more than that to defeat a true Samurai Farmer!" TrueHeat gasped, and suddenly started glowing. "Amazing," Lugie said. "He's executing the ancient Bikou technique!" TrueHeat was about to begin the move when Asuka struck him bluntly on the head.
"You'll not use that technique if I can help it!" He shouted. "I'll kill you now-- huh????"
Asuka screamed as he looked up. He had been blind to his surroundings, and only then did he notice the huge elephant stomping towards him.
"Come on, boy, get 'im!" deetto said. He and dozer were sitting on top of the elephant, herding it towards Asuka with incredible speed. "Yeah! Stomp him flat!" dozer said.
There wan't much left of poor Asuka after that battle.
Once again the comrades of Dante were victorious! |
03-22-2001, 03:30 PM
"Dante vs Evil Dante"
Blah, oh well I shouldn't complain I've been in two of those stories already 
Linear Mode
