Wandering around aimlessly/I need a change.

[toad1413]

I need a change. And, thus, I may soon fade away from graal. My life is crumbling, I am wandering around aimlessly in life (Not easy when you're 14 years old and still have school and such), and also in my mind. I am experiencing double emotions - being happy, while at the same time sad, being both interested and uninterested in life - and I just do not know what to do. Suicide does not appeal to me, nor does doing drugs. I just don't know what. I may come back fully, or I may continue to fade away. Also, any fool who asks me 'are you leaving?' is just that, a fool. Birdbird, if you wish you can fire me from police. And so, everyone who I have shared even just one good moment with, I thank you from the bottom of my heart for that moment. Thank you everyone.

I will see you all later... My friends...

- Nick McGuire.

[ArchOwl]

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[cds96]

laters toad, see you round sometime

[konidias]

Sorry to see you leaving toad..

But you know, many people go through what you're going through... Millions of people have anxiety, which is the leading cause of depresson.. and many people have depression.. The best way to get over what your going through is to stop thinking about it.. get your mind off it, and focus on something else.. when all you think about is your life and if you're happy, and if you have interest in life.. it gets depressing especially when you lose hope in things.

Also, people that use computers a lot.. like A LOT, tend to get this feeling too.. a way to feel good about yourself and your life, is to excerise or play sports.. because when you excerise your body releases (man I can't think of what they are called now) but it makes you feel happy and gives you a good feeling.. that's why some people just work out every day.. and that's why you also feel good and stuff when you have worked out a bit

Hope you come back soon though

[cds96]

Originally posted by konidias
(man I can't think of what they are called now)

tension which relives stress

[konidias]

Nah it's like andromorphines or something like that lol.. it relaxes you and makes your brain calm down and you feel happy

[cds96]

Originally posted by konidias
Nah it's like andromorphines or something like that lol.. it relaxes you and makes your brain calm down and you feel happy

oic

[toad1413]

Originally posted by konidias
Sorry to see you leaving toad..

But you know, many people go through what you're going through... Millions of people have anxiety, which is the leading cause of depresson.. and many people have depression.. The best way to get over what your going through is to stop thinking about it.. get your mind off it, and focus on something else.. when all you think about is your life and if you're happy, and if you have interest in life.. it gets depressing especially when you lose hope in things.

Also, people that use computers a lot.. like A LOT, tend to get this feeling too.. a way to feel good about yourself and your life, is to excerise or play sports.. because when you excerise your body releases (man I can't think of what they are called now) but it makes you feel happy and gives you a good feeling.. that's why some people just work out every day.. and that's why you also feel good and stuff when you have worked out a bit

Hope you come back soon though

Kon, you and everyone else (with the exception of ArchOwl's stupid spam post), either didn't read it fully, or didn't understand part of it. I am not leaving, yet, I am just 'stepping back'.

And Kon.
Think about what? What is there for me to think about? Please, tell me.

Oh, and I can't play sport. It's just me.


One more thing, this isn't a normal depression. I had one of those about a week or two ago. This is different.

[toad1413]

Originally posted by konidias
Nah it's like andromorphines or something like that lol.. it relaxes you and makes your brain calm down and you feel happy

Forgot something. I am calm. In fact, I'm overly calm. I am too calm right now.

[konidias]

But you seem to be dwelling on things.. which is a sign of anxiety.

[Faheria_LAT1]

Originally posted by toad1413
I need a change. And, thus, I may soon fade away from graal. My life is crumbling, I am wandering around aimlessly in life (Not easy when you're 14 years old and still have school and such), and also in my mind. I am experiencing double emotions - being happy, while at the same time sad, being both interested and uninterested in life - and I just do not know what to do. Suicide does not appeal to me, nor does doing drugs. I just don't know what. I may come back fully, or I may continue to fade away. Also, any fool who asks me 'are you leaving?' is just that, a fool. Birdbird, if you wish you can fire me from police. And so, everyone who I have shared even just one good moment with, I thank you from the bottom of my heart for that moment. Thank you everyone.

I will see you all later... My friends...

- Nick McGuire.

I feel the same way each and every day -_-' well, see you later!

[AlkarenHyralt]

We all have problems in our life, God knows I've had mine, and I still have mine. Something is weighing heavily on your mind, I can tell, and perhaps you don't realize it. Hopefully, you can figure this out and come back to us fully, insted of simply taking a sort of "break" from Graal. If you ever want to talk about something though toad, remember I'm always glad to listen.

[Slaktmaster]

Archaon is very sad, I hope you choose to stay! I will still talk you you on AIM if you keep going on it!

[habek]

it's so sad to see you leave toad

this goes to me now. at the first time i play graal, i was very happy. there are so many things that i can do and i enjoy every minute of it. i can gain 5 or more hours of graal in one day. now when i log on to graal, all i do is just go to the marketplace, and buy stuff, then after that i just close graal and start doing other things.

if this happens i might also going to fade away like toad. but i will be still active on forums

[Kumada]

graal gets booring after u hit 1000g

[habek]

Originally posted by Kumada
graal gets booring after u hit 1000g

i got about 1500 now if no one scammed me

[Lionel-Jonson]

Bush - Machine Head

[Birdbird_0]

Bird bird am sad.

[cds96]

Originally posted by Birdbird_0
Bird bird am sad.

me 2

[Providence_Admin3]

Originally posted by Kumada
graal gets booring after u hit 1000g

But even more boring once you get it HACKED AWAY FROM YOU.


*cough*


Anyway, toad, I'm really sorry. I know where you're coming from. I am the QUEEN of depression; basically all last year, I cried myself to sleep every night. Sometimes I thought that I just couldn't take it, and there was nothing in the world that would ever change. I thought I'd be depressed all my life. I saw the school guidance counselor every single day. It wasn't that I was picked on at school, but the fact that I had been stabbed in the back on several occasions, new to the school, and was wandering around aimlessly, like you. My parents weren't making things any better, either. They were constantly yelling at me for my grades (which were Bs and Cs) and about how I moped around the house constantly. Hell, I even stopped one of my friends from killing herself that year. It wasn't fun. So, you know what I did? When I thought that all was lost, I realized that there is someone in the world who really cares about me. Even if I hadn't found that person yet, there would always be one out there. I also realized that I would be moving out for college anyway. So, I tried to be a bit more optimistic. It didn't exactly work. But, on the last day of school, people who I thought hated me wrote the nicest messages in my yearbook, and I just... didn't know what to say. Then, I realized that just because people weren't my immediate friends, it didn't mean they hated me. It just meant they needed to get to know me. So, when I started this year, I suddenly had a lot of friends. As of today, there's not one single person in my school who hates me, and I don't hate anyone back. People just didn't KNOW me, but I couldn't realize that.
Back then, I took the optimism/pessimism test, and got, not surprisingly, extremely pessimistic. Recently, I took it again, and now I'm basically optomistic. It's amazing how, in such little time, your entire views on the world can change. I'm happy with my life now. toad, if you just think about your problems and how you can resolve them, you'll be happy with yours, too.

I know no one took the time to read all of that, but I just felt like posting it because... I can?

[ArchOwl]

Originally posted by toad1413


Kon, you and everyone else (with the exception of ArchOwl's stupid spam post), either didn't read it fully, or didn't understand part of it. I am not leaving, yet, I am just 'stepping back'.

And Kon.
Think about what? What is there for me to think about? Please, tell me.

Oh, and I can't play sport. It's just me.


One more thing, this isn't a normal depression. I had one of those about a week or two ago. This is different.

craig spammed too

[Qwert616]

I get depressed a lot too. I have a lot of other problems but I try not to analyze myself though because it usually just brings me down more . I just try not to bring all this onto the forums or when I play Graal. Mostly because almost everyone comes here to have fun or whatever. Hope that whenever you do decide to leave it is on a positive note.

[gozen]

sorry that you must leave
=\
cya

[toad1413]

To everyone who thinks I'm leaving: Either you didn't fully understand parts of it, or I didn't explain it properly. Most likely the latter.

I'm not leaving. I am though, as Alk provided good words for it, taking a break. Call it a holiday, if you will. Birdbird, instead of taking me off police, can you just put me on away and hire a temp?

And Marle, I read all that. Though my situation is different. There are people who hate me. With a vengance even. But, I repeat, this isn't a normal depression for me. For me, it feels like there's a void in my mind and spirit, needing to be filled. But I'm not leaving. Just taking a break. (I upgraded my account for 12 months in August. You're not getting rid of me that easily. )

[yoshee15]

wow now i realise how good i have it :O i wish best of luck to you so that you can get rid of this!

[_0AfTeRsHoCk0_]

I hope you come back soon Toad

[Yamizitzu]

I hope I still see you around still toad

[joeycmoore]

Don't go into new experiences thinking "wow this will make me feel better." Your expectations will be high and will most likely not be met.

Get away from convenience: cook your own dinner, read a book instead of watching the movie, write a letter instead of sending an e-mail.

[toad1413]

Originally posted by joeycmoore
Don't go into new experiences thinking "wow this will make me feel better." Your expectations will be high and will most likely not be met.

Get away from convenience: cook your own dinner, read a book instead of watching the movie, write a letter instead of sending an e-mail.

..? You have no idea what I'm talking about here.

All I know is that I seriously need a change from things. (It's not helping me that I have homework and end of school things either.)

Also, my parents usually cook dinner, I help with it.
I DO read books. Try some of Tom Clancey's books, especially his 'Net-Force' series, and his 'Op-Center' series. They're good.
Write a letter... Who to?

So I conclude by saying this: Read over my post/s again, and THEN make a post, k?

(And I repeat to everyone: I am NOT, repeat NOT leaving!!!)

- toad (In a good mood, yay!)

[NotoriousBLT]

Originally posted by toad1413
I need a change. And, thus, I may soon fade away from graal. My life is crumbling, I am wandering around aimlessly in life (Not easy when you're 14 years old and still have school and such), and also in my mind. I am experiencing double emotions - being happy, while at the same time sad, being both interested and uninterested in life - and I just do not know what to do. Suicide does not appeal to me, nor does doing drugs. I just don't know what. I may come back fully, or I may continue to fade away. Also, any fool who asks me 'are you leaving?' is just that, a fool. Birdbird, if you wish you can fire me from police. And so, everyone who I have shared even just one good moment with, I thank you from the bottom of my heart for that moment. Thank you everyone.

I will see you all later... My friends...

- Nick McGuire.

Inform someone who can help you, you guys act like graal is the real world. Quit graal and sort out your problems, talk to your family, etc.

[joeycmoore]

You are not listening to me either.

You are a 14 year old with no grasp on life, you are looking for an answers on a messageboard on the internet (honestly, if you did not want an answer then why did you post this). You said drugs and suicide don't interest you (which are answers) so you are indicating you want to find an answer of your own. I gave suggestions of examples, I do not know your life backwards and forwards, these are just general statements. You are expecting too much. No one here will give you an answer, you have to find that yourself.

[Providence_Admin3]

Originally posted by joeycmoore
You are not listening to me either.

You are a 14 year old with no grasp on life, you are looking for an answers on a messageboard on the internet (honestly, if you did not want an answer then why did you post this). You said drugs and suicide don't interest you (which are answers) so you are indicating you want to find an answer of your own. I gave suggestions of examples, I do not know your life backwards and forwards, these are just general statements. You are expecting too much. No one here will give you an answer, you have to find that yourself.

You're NOT helping him, you know.

[joeycmoore]

Excellent, my whole plan from the start

[Providence_Admin3]

Originally posted by joeycmoore
Excellent, my whole plan from the start

Mission accomplished, junior.

[joeycmoore]

Maybe next time i'll just put *huggles get better* instead of trying to offer up any valid suggestions.

[toad1413]

Originally posted by NotoriousBLT

Inform someone who can help you, you guys act like graal is the real world. Quit graal and sort out your problems, talk to your family, etc.

EXCUSE ME?!?
I do not 'act like graal is the real world'. I posted this here because I have friends in the graalian community, and this is the easiest was to tell them all. Do you have a problem with me having friends?? Do you?

And tell my family what? That I'm having double emotions? They KNOW. I've told them. Do you really think I wouldn't tell my parents if something was really weird?

So could you please read back over my posts too, then come up with at least a semi-intelligent post. Thanks.

[Providence_Admin3]

Originally posted by joeycmoore
Maybe next time i'll just put *huggles get better* instead of trying to offer up any valid suggestions.

Your sarcasm is very unnerving, and quite frankly, disgusting.

He needs a bit of help, and you're further discouraging him. If you don't have anything nice to say to him, it's best to just not post in this thread.

[toad1413]

Originally posted by joeycmoore
You are not listening to me either.

You are a 14 year old with no grasp on life, you are looking for an answers on a messageboard on the internet (honestly, if you did not want an answer then why did you post this). You said drugs and suicide don't interest you (which are answers) so you are indicating you want to find an answer of your own. I gave suggestions of examples, I do not know your life backwards and forwards, these are just general statements. You are expecting too much. No one here will give you an answer, you have to find that yourself.

I am not looking for answers on a messageboard. I am telling my friends why I am not going to be around as much for a while, because I thought they might be concerned, and I was assuring them that I wasn't doing drugs, and that I'm not going to kill myself. My friends care for me. If you don't have any true friends who care for you, I pity you.

And you suggestions weren't very helpfull in the first place. How would reading a book or cooking dinner help??

So, thank you very much, you can kiss my ass.

[Scorpz]

anwser = a 8th of draw for only $10

[joeycmoore]

Reading a book and cooking = suggestions to get away from convenience. Getting away from convenience can do wonders for a person. Accomplishing something that takes time ends with a feeling of self-worth and self-satisfaction. Also taking time to do something drawn out occupies the time that thoughts of apathy would usually be bringing you down.