I just can't take it anymore.

I know I'll get stupid replies like "oh you shouldn't let it effect you" and such, but I just HAVE to post here. I just can't take it anymore. Graal has driven me insane. I just can't play it anymore. Try as I might, everything effects me. I am trying so hard to be a good Police... but it just isn't working. Becuase I'm female and a staff member, everyone calls me "*****", "prostitute," and other derogatory names. And since I am friends with anna, gameo, tybalt, etc, everyone assumes things about me. "OH SINCE GAMEO HATES LYCIA, I GUESS YOU WERE ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE INSULTING HER OVER TOALLS!" even though I wasn't. Same with Gambit. I think we have worked out our differences, but people just won't let up on it. I cannot take it anymore. Jerom, for instance, hates me because I was supposedly "breaking rules" and "insulting gambit over toalls," which was not true. I kept trying to deny all of this, but he does not care. I can't win. I'm not the mean ***** everyone here thinks I am, really, I'm not. I just... have a short temper, that's all. I really want to be a good Police member. I can't. I can't. I can't. People like Nappa are stopping me. He calls me a ***** over toalls, and then I PM him to try to work things out and get THIS (read from the bottom to the top)

Nappa (7/3/01 6:50:11 PM):
'Might' uhuh, thats bullshit. ur changing **** around now cuz u dont want me to
do ****. i am the most ****ed up person who u will ever have the disgrace of
meeting. i will **** any nigga up, i curse out stefan every time i see him, and no
**** happens. im gonna keep ridin till the end of this account
Marle (Police) (7/3/01 6:48:58 PM):
Nappa, I didn't know that. I didn't know who you were, I didn't know anything
about you. If you would've PMed me SAYING that, I might have let you join.
Nappa (7/3/01 6:48:24 PM):
thats bullshit. did u know, that i am practically the best fighter on graal ? i can
beat anyone online right now, and u people turned me down. i joined zormite
and they crowned me their best fighter, i am in pirate, i win all their spar
tournaments. thats bullshit, im never turned down!!
Marle (Police) (7/3/01 6:46:53 PM):
You didn't? Well, so many people asked me to join Samurai, I could not let
them all in. I got about 30 PMs at one time asking to join, some of them I just
couldn't read.
Nappa (7/3/01 6:46:17 PM):
what test!?!?! i never took a test! so dont say i failed
Marle (Police) (7/3/01 6:45:56 PM):
You had to take a test to be able to join.
Nappa (7/3/01 6:45:38 PM):
what 'Test' i never took a test
Marle (Police) (7/3/01 6:45:22 PM):
Anna is my friend. Everything I said is the truth, even ask IceHawk. He made
up the test.
Nappa (7/3/01 6:44:51 PM):
thats all bullshit, u werent accepting ? c'mon, even ur members told me i could
join, they would have to ask u and the emperor. thats bullshit, i dont believe that
anna would ask u to join, but then again, she is a ***** too
Marle (Police) (7/3/01 6:43:57 PM):
1. I wouldn't let you join Samurai because we weren't accepting anyone at that
time.
2. I did not disgrace Samurai because I didn't do anything.
3. I didn't "sell out" to Celt, I QUIT GRAAL for about 2 weeks, Beowulf had
removed me as Empress because I quit, so anna asked me if I wanted to join
Celt so I said okay.
Nappa (7/3/01 6:43:08 PM):
yes i do.
Marle (Police) (7/3/01 6:42:48 PM):
Actually, do you want to know what REALLY happened?
Nappa (7/3/01 6:42:27 PM):
no, u made me mad, wouldnt let me join samurai, disgraced samurai, sold out
to celt, thats some bullshit.
Marle (Police) (7/3/01 6:41:51 PM):
I don't want to fight with you. I'm sorry if I did anything to offend you.
Nappa (7/3/01 6:41:34 PM):
well, i get jailed every 4 minutes im out of jail, i dont think so either
Marle (Police) (7/3/01 6:41:14 PM):
Nappa, I do not want to argue with you. I don't think you're a bad person.


I can't win. That's it. I have tried so hard. It reminds me of that Linkin Park song, "In The End".

I tried so hard
and got so far
but in the end
it doesn't even matter

I had to fall
to lose it all
but in the end
it doesn't even matter

Proxian, another person who hates me for no reason, set his name to "Marle is a ***!" and spread rumors that I got a sex change and that I was a ***** and a lesbian. What did I do to deserve this?! Now, I'll never make it anywhere. I get attacked for joking around, ridiculed for the smallest things. Graal just isn't fun anymore, so I may be quitting. I don't know.

I just don't know what to do anymore.