I've read most of it... While kind of creative, it's still pretty bland. Plus there is so much unneeded information given. Also the part about the boy chasing a ghost (I think?) It didn't even say anything about the boy seeing a ghost, it says "he followed a dripping noise" and then "he followed the ghost".
Finding the fragments of some gem is like the entire plot for Inuyasha.
Overall, not bad, although I'm not too wild about "the fate of the world lies in you alone" stories for MMORPGs. It just doesn't seem believable when there is hundreds of other players trying to do the same thing you were destined to do.
Oh, and on a final note... you say Orcs are stupid, yet you talk about them organizing attacks? I couldn't really picture that part of the story.