[protagonist]

If they had only made me manager 2k1 would be the most popular server right now. Free GP boots for everyone, but GP boots that had a horrible secret. Whenever I log on they turn into horrible torture devices which make you move at 1/100th of the normal speed, and bleed. Bleed like a stuck pig. And it wouldn't be called 2k1 either, it would be called VT's Carnival of Bleeding. Where all items were wonderfully useful until I came around, and then they would turn into horrible things. And if I pushed the Doom button, a giant picture of goatse would appear, and all players would be sucked into the vortex of his gaping anus.

Clearly, they erred from the right path when they didn't choose me.