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Old 01-31-2006, 04:44 AM
OasaTor_PK OasaTor_PK is offline
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Location: Brandon, Manitoba, Canada
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GryffonDurime
Decent, but the narrative is a bit muddled, your choice of tenses seems odd, and your character seems a bit too "power-player" for my tastes. But the attempt, as all attempts should be, is vigerous.
Fixed the spelling error, thanks for pointing that out.
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