
03-20-2005, 08:45 AM
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Script Monkey
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Join Date: May 2001
Posts: 18,222
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At the very least, you should make it a little dramatic. Why has this guy hired all these henchmen and stolen the train? So he can kill some random passengers?
Aside from that, it all sounds far too linear, and the doing-stuff to watching-stuff ratio could use some work.
Also, the end battle sounds anti-climactic. What kind of fight can you realistically have in a 1v1, close-quarters environment? |
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