I Need To Slow Down Or Else I Might Get Fat
 

Instead of disallowing players to eat because they "might get fat", why not just make them get fat?

Like the more they eat, the slower they run, and gradually regain their speed.
For example, for each food item they eat in a given cooldown, they lose .01 speed and gain back .01 speed each minute.

Basically the more they eat, the easier they are to kill.

Can you stretch players horizontally? Because that would be hilarious

yes you can! you can stretch them out, smirt! you can do it!!

lol

Haven't we been stretched enough, guys?

Just picture it...
http://i.imgur.com/xRdbmCb.png

We can make them digest and need to BATHROOM too!

I think we should make them have a chance of throwing up if they eat too much too soon and lose some HP they gained.

nah, those are just my muscles after a long day at the gym.

and after you eat too much you can only stay in your own house and watch baseball?

More people watch competitive league of legends at any given time than baseball.

what is league of legends? and yeah i just mentioned the worst sport that came to mind..i only watch football, f1, tennis and occasionally golf

I support this, watching streams right now... apparently there's playoff baseball on, who cares?

Life.

It's an online game. Strategy kind of thing. Really hard to describe, but you might have heard of DOTA or Smite. They're all very similar. Anyways, it's a fun time. Uses more brains than COD

Football games have an average of 11 minutes of actual play time.