| DustyPorViva |
07-10-2008 05:31 AM |
A trip to Zone, the miniseries.
I don't think I ever gave Zone a proper chance. I have hopped on the server less than a handful of times, at the most! I decided I would try it again, and put some effort into it... because in all honesty, my prior experiences involved me logging on, running around the starting area and leaving. Here is a document of my trip.
I began by, of course logging onto Zone. I quickly logged on, but was stopped quickly by a wall of "Z's". Lo and behold, however, a small window popped up and told me it was downloading various files... so I took it to assumption I was missing some critical things. There it was, finally, things became visible. Instantly, I saw a little speech bubble in the corner of my screen.
"Yay! I got a message!", I thought to myself.
I quickly opened my message and was greeted by a large, graphical, "Graal Zone"... really? Now, I knew very well that I had opened Graal. I also knew very well that I logged onto the Zone server; apparent by the little window that said, "Logging onto Zone", the window of Graal itself that said, "Zone", and the fact that I knew I logged onto Zone. Apparently, however, the Powers That Be felt the need to waste a few seconds of my first experience with this server by reminding me that I indeed, did not log onto another server. Thank you, Powers That Be.
I looked at my surroundings... I saw this little head on my screen and it was obvious it was not mines, nor another players. It gave me a little tip, however. It told my that I could head to the right if I wanted to find an outfit terminal, and to the left I could find the battlefield. Oh, did I mention this little bodyless head was a self-titled Guide? I mean, who am I to judge... but I find it quite odd that this floating head decided to tell me how to dress, then direct me to the battlefield. I guess they wanted me to die in style. Anyways, I walked around, dressed myself in what I thought was really cool apparel(though I could easily be wrong), and noticed the floating head was still telling me the same thing. I figured I needed to satisfy whatever sexual desires this man got from me doing whatever he told me to, so I went to the left area.
Barren. Completely empty. I did not see anyone else. What kind of battlefield was this? I walked around for a little until I saw giant robots. Awesome, even though they looked like legged tadpoles. My little companion head told me that I could press "A" to get in. Again, awesome. I pressed "A" and received a little message on my screen that disappointed me -- "Only for engineers!".
"#$@!&#"
I found myself back in the starting area, however. Apparently, there were not enough players! My perverted little head was still there, floating, watching me. Not my avatar, ME! He was looking right at me. I was tired of him. I had no idea how to get rid of him. I clicked in frenzy around my screen to find something. I happened to open up my inventory. Cool. But that will have to wait. I kept clicking, and with each click my player seems to face my mouse cursor. Odd. Anyways, I finally managed to open up a large window. I'm not sure how, but I did. In the upper-right corner I found a way to get rid of the chatty, broken record-bastard pervert. With one swell click of my mouse he was gone. Forever. Until I clicked it again, and he came back, then I quickly made him disappear again. I find humor in the simplest things.
Anyways, I went back to my inventory that had intrigued me earlier. I had many different things to go through, but I saw a few items right there. I equipped them, apparently, and was ready to check them out. I started with the white flag.
"Flagwhite activated!", my avatar apparently said to himself.
I had no idea why my little representation was talking to himself, as I was pretty sure my computer had no way to know that I did the same thing... I mean come on, it's only some 1GHz PoS. Anyways, here I was, a flagwhite... erm, white flag in my hands. It seems to serve no other purpose than that, but that did not phase me. I walked proudly around what I now called My Base with my flag proudly in the air. This seemed to fuel some sort of primitive source of amusement. Anyways... I checked the rest of my inventory and found some binoculors. These also seemed very cool. I mean, I could spy on others that were no where to be found. I equipped them and tried to use them... nothing. I tried again... and nothing. I was thoroughly disappointed. Oh well.
I was tired of My Base. Mentally, my little avatar could not handle the lack of exposure to other avatars. Oh, and the crimson red was boring. Lots of crimson red. If it wasn't the crimson red of blood, I was not amused. I decided to try to find one of these other planets that were flooding my small screen. I had no idea how to travel the deep space. I walked and walked around My Base for a few minutes. I was about to give up when apparently I walked to the right area and found myself with many planets to choose from. I chose the white one, in honor of flagwhite.
Aha! People! So many people. And one even talked! He said something along the lines of, "I died to the /ugly guy." Perhaps my little avatar was alone for too long, but I decided not to question it any further. I decided to dive right in, after all, there was only the battlefield! I went in and walked into a terminal and was instantly transported. But... I found myself back in the starting area... again. This time, however, there were more than enough players for the game, but no apparent message. Perhaps the terminal ****ed up and caused my avatar to implode into itself. I tried again. I did manage to make it this time, and was dodging bullets like I was a Matrix cast reject. Apparently, that's exactly what I was, because I couldn't dodge fire. My poor little guy was running around with his head on fire, which I think was done by one of my own teammates and a flamethrower, and there was nothing I could do about it.
I died.
There I laid, a lump of bones, and what I think, internal organs. I don't know what kind of fire that flamethrower spewed, but it was kickass. I decided to walk around a little... but... I was still a pile of crap. I walked around like that for a few seconds. Oh, and I was still on fire. I was a walking pile of flaming crap. Isn't that funny? Did I mention I was a walking pile of bones and organs???
I was bored of dying in a manner of seconds upon arrival in the battlefield. I decided to check out the other planets. Using my newly found knowledge of planetary travel, I walked into the metal grates and looked down upon this puny solar system. I decided to check out the small green planet because it looked like a booger.
I went straight to the battlefield, because revenge was sweet. I entered the terminal and started looking around. Apparently I went to another deserted planet. Honestly though, how could a planet that looks like a booger be deserted? It should be the most populated out of sheer awesomeness. Oh well. I decided to look around at the surroundings. It didn't look like a booger at close up, so things quickly got boring. I was ready to leave. However... I had no idea how. I tried many commands, "leave", "quit", "/leave", "/quit"... they all went unheard. I clicked randomly around the screen again... nothing! I decided to bring back pervert bastard floating head... he said the same thing he had beforehand... what a sicko. I decided to reconnect, I figured it would perhaps kick me out of the battlefield. It didn't....
I had only one more choice. Communicate. I had to ask one of the other players how to leave. I sent out an SoS, "How do I leave a game?" to a random player on the list who's name did not contain, "piss" or "Bin Laden", because for some reason I don't think they would be too willing to help me. After a few seconds I got a reply.
"you sacrafice souls", he said.
Hmm. Interesting, but if there was any way to sacrifice souls, I don't think I'd be able to find out how. I sent another SoS to another person who had the title of Princess. Princess' are nice people, right? Like Princess peach, and Princess Zelda. Hot. Anyways, I got what seemed to be an instantaneous reply, "Players on trial accounts can only send one message each 60 seconds."
"*@!#~!"
It's only sixty seconds, right? Right? Oh well, I waited. After a gruesome minute of sitting on booger-land, I sent out my distress signal again. It took longer than the other guy, but Princess finally replied.
And I quote her words of savior, "go afk forever."
I wasn't ready for that, so I moved my little mouse cursor over the red X of the window titled, "Zone", and closed it. I don't think I'd be visiting that place again in a long, long time.
edit: yes, I realize I could have unstick me... but it didn't cross my mind at the time.
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