Hrm, now I look at it, I like the actual line art. It's a good idea but executed poorly. I'll try and make an example on how to fix this so it looks good :)

EDIT: Here, if you zoom in on this, you can see the effects I've used. Funnily enough, I've never actually made a flat metallic texture so it was experimentation for me too :) Nothing spectacular but I hope you can see some shading techniques that I've used which you could develop. Placed on a black background so it stands out.